Your Mind is a Traitor

Welcome to episode four. We are officially on the other side of this thing together. Something really interesting happened the week before these first three episodes of Own Your Mark dropped. Two people, both very close to me, separately, yet interestingly within like a day or so of each other, both of these people asked me some version of the same question, which was essentially like,

Why are you doing the podcast? 

Now these people love me. They’re in the ring with me so to speak. And they’ve been with me long enough that they’ve seen me get distracted by a cute little side quest when I had real goals and objectives I was committed to. 

So I know that the very last thing they were trying to do was second guess me. They were giving me a gut check. I see this. I mean, on one hand, we were basically already like strapped in at that point. Everything was locked and loaded. 

Even if I had said, my gosh, you’re so right about doing this podcast. Like Houston, we were ready for takeoff. 

But that isn’t what happened.

The first one asked me like, why right now? There’s enough happening in life and in business. Why was I so set on doing the podcast right now? And my answer was because right now is the right time. Like I just, I know it, I feel it. 

Now I know that “because this feels right”, doesn’t sound super convincing to most people. But to me, that feeling was more sure and more accurate than any data set or spreadsheet could ever be. 

The other person was checking in from a place of, is this part of your business strategy? Is this going to help you reach your goals? Or is this another distraction?

And with that person, I was able to give a whole slew of reasons and receipts for exactly how this podcast fits in complete alignment with both my business strategy and the goals I’m going for and also my human design.

Now there’s a previous version of me who when these people checked in with me I would have perceived it as second guessing. I would have gotten all up in my head and doubt would have become a squatter taking up residence in my mind.

I’d be thinking, well, if the people who are closest to me are saying something, they must see something I can’t. They know me better than myself, right? They’re right. I should stop.

But dear listener, the version of who I am today has stopped outsourcing her discernment.

So when that pulse check came up, for me it was a real quick, yep, this is right, now is the right time.

This is in alignment for me. Thanks for the love. I will collect my $200 and pass go. We are continuing to carry on.

I was recently asked how to know when something’s in alignment versus when something is misaligned. And if alignment is a strategy, which I believe that it is, can you make it happen? 

To which I must channel my inner Nate Bargatze General Washington and tell you a little, sometimes one and sometimes three. 

Knowing your human design gives you a real shortcut here.

It eliminates a ton of guesswork and it gives you guardrails for what your energy is designed for. 

In human design, one of the things we can look at is your authority. This is specific to you and it is your built-in decision-making mechanism. It is how your body sends a signal to tell you if something is right for you or not. 

Some people feel it as this gut response. It is immediate, physical, uh-huh, uh-uh.can even feel it sometimes before the question has finished landing. 

Some people need time to make a decision. They’ve got to ride the waves of this is the best, this is the worst, and kind of wait for that clarity to even out. 

Some people need to hear themselves say it out loud or say it in the right environment. 

Some people, it is this real quiet knowing that whispers once and then never again.

You have felt yours. 

Maybe you didn’t have a language for it, but there is a moment where something in you knows what’s right or not, even before your mind has had a chance to pipe in. 

I personally have sacral authority, which is the gut response. For me, it is a hell yes, or it is a real quick no. I ask myself yes, no questions, and I get a feel for what the answer is before my mind tries to pipe in and tell me something else. 

This business, Owen Your Mark, has mental authority, which means

talking it out with trusted people in the right environments. 

So when I’m feeling stuck on something in this business, it’s usually because I have been alone for too long. I have not been on calls with people. I have not been talking to people because I can’t think my way through it for the business. I’ve got to talk it out. 

And I think this is part of the reason why I love Voxer so much, both with business peers, mentors, and also clients.

Your energy type also gives you some built-in signals. 

For generators and manifesting generators, satisfaction is a green flag for alignment. 

You are meant to be chasing the satisfaction. If something feels satisfying and exciting to you, like that’s a real good indicator that you’re on the right track. And generators and mani-gens can watch for frustration as a signal for something is off.

For projectors, the green flag you’re looking for feels like success. 

Again, my business is a projector. And so when it came to putting this podcast together, I had this huge sense of success when the episodes were recorded, when everything launched.

Like success for me had absolutely nothing to do with the data and the numbers and it had a hundred percent and it had everything to do with the fact that I felt good. I felt successful putting this thing out into the world. 

Now projectors can be watching for bitterness as a signal that something might be misaligned.

A lot of the time when I talk with projectors, they mentioned that they don’t really resonate with these feelings of bitterness. And for them, it feels more like resentment, or they might even label it as frustration, but the undercurrent of why they’re frustrated points back to these feelings of not being recognized or not being seen. it ultimately like,

points back to a sense of resentment or bitterness, even if that’s not what you want to call it. So if you’re a projector, just sit with what this looks like for you specifically.

For manifestors, when they’re in alignment, it feels like peace for them. They feel really good about it. They feel really good about moving forward with whatever it is they are about to initiate and inform. And manifestors can be on the lookout for signs of anger. When they get really angry about something, that’s a sign that something might be misaligned.

And lastly, we’ve got reflectors. Reflectors are looking for delight and awe as green flags that they are in alignment. And they can be paying attention to when they feel disappointed. Like, gosh, that did not go the way that I thought that was going to go. I’m just really disappointed. That’s their signal that something might be in misalignment.

Now these things are not things to avoid. You, I don’t care what your energy type is, you are not going to feel satisfied, successful, peaceful, delighted all of the time.

 And you aren’t going to completely avoid feelings of disappointment, anger, bitterness, or frustration. Also like you’re not trying to because those are signals or signs that something is off and it’s there to give you something to pay attention to, not necessarily to try to run from or avoid. 

So think about it when it comes to your marketing. Think about your emails, your content. Depending on your energy type, what about those things feels satisfying or successful, peaceful, delightful? 

What about your marketing or your emails or your content makes you feel frustrated or bitter? angry, disappointed. Those are areas worth looking at more closely. 

Even if your marketing looks fine on the outside. 

Even if your marketing is technically working. 

If it doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it. 

Do not write it off. 

Do not outsource your discernment. 

Get curious. Take another look. Your body knows even when your mind isn’t sure how to translate it yet. 

Your mind is not supposed to make decisions. Decisions are made in the body. Your mind is meant to receive the signals that your body is sending and it’s supposed to articulate them, communicate them, translate them for you. 

But sometimes the translator goes a little rogue and instead of translating what the body actually said, the mind starts saying its own things. It edits, it second guesses, it makes it translate the message in a way that might seem more palatable, more logical or reasonable. 

And unfortunately, you end up with a completely different message than the one that your body originally sent.

This my dear listener is exactly how we get so good at gaslighting ourselves. Because we have learned to trust the translator over the original message.

We believe logic over the signals our body is sending us. Even though how we logic something is still really based off of a feeling, but I digress. 

Your mind will always have a way to justify, to logic its way through why the thing that your body knew couldn’t possibly be right.

or why the thing that felt off was actually just fine. You’re just making things up. 

You know that show, Traitors? When I was growing up, I remember it as Celebrity Mole. That’s one I grew up watching. And in this show, everyone knows that there’s at least a traitor in the room, at least from the beginning. And people are all pointing fingers outward trying to figure out who that traitor is.

Meanwhile, the traitor is sitting right across from you at some point. It’s looking right at you. It is convincing you that it’s not a traitor, it’s on your side. Well, guess what? 

In this case, your mind is the traitor. The call is coming from inside the house. 

Okay, so what does this actually look like in your marketing? 

Well, it’s the email that you’ve sent and then immediately wish you could take back. 

There was something that was off about the content, but you forced your way through it, made it happen anyway, and now there’s a sinking feeling of dread in your stomach. 

It’s a CTA that you soften over and over and over again, trying to get it just right so that it is palatable and people aren’t bothered by it. But ultimately it has no spine. 

It’s a content calendar that you stick to even when you have a really freaking awesome idea that hits in the moment. 

Now, your girl loves batching content and scheduling it out. Pre-planned content is not the enemy here. That’s not what I’m saying.

I’m saying that in the moment, if an amazing idea hits you, it sparks to life, and you are choosing to override that to stick to the content calendar.

Pay attention, that is a signal that’s worth investigating.

Even if your original strategy made complete logical sense on paper, maybe somebody else recommended it because it worked for them, or maybe it’s something that has you or maybe it’s something you’ve done previously and it worked for you then. 

So you figure let’s just rinse and repeat and try it again this time. Even then.

Pay attention because if when you go to execute it, it feels like you are pushing a boulder uphill. It feels harder than you expected it to or like as my kids used to say, I can’t want to. 

That is something worth paying attention to because your mind has become the rogue translator overriding the signal that your body is trying to send you. 

I want to be clear about something because I think ease gets misunderstood. Ease is not the absence of work. It is not a lack of effort. 

Ease is what happens when you are working from a place of alignment and the effort you do put into things isn’t fighting you. You are not fighting yourself or your own energy.

Because when you’re running from a borrowed strategy, you’re using someone else’s voice, someone else’s framework, someone else’s way of selling, you’re putting in the effort. You are working hard. And you’re not having very much to show for it because that’s not how you’re designed to do things.

Ease is just ease is another one of those signals that you’re on the right track. Like putting this podcast together. 

Apparently, I like to do really big things in a short amount of time. I had a seven week engagement and this podcast.

got stood up in about the same amount of time. Sorry, sorry everybody.

But it came together in a short amount of time because it was kind of easy. 

That does not mean that it was frictionless, but there was a sense where like everything I did just worked. It happened. I didn’t have to force it. I didn’t have to like push it through on sheer will alone. And so that was another signal that

Not only was this podcast the right thing to do, but the timing of it and doing it now was also the right time.

So here’s what I want you to walk away with today. One question you can ask yourself the next time you go to create content.

Does this sound like me or does it sound like what I think I’m supposed to say?

If you really want to test this, read your content out loud and notice what your body is trying to say to you 

Alignment moves in your body. You can feel it. 

And if it’s misaligned, there might be something in there where you’re the tone or the quality, the frequency of your voice. It might fall a little flat. You might feel really tired or drained when reading it. You might go through it and notice spots where you feel frustrated or bitter or angry or disappointed.

Your body knows, okay? You felt it. 

Your job now is to stop outsourcing your discernment.

Call out the traitor.

Don’t let the rogue translator talk you out of what you already know.

I encourage you, I challenge you to do that this week. 

Notice where you are overriding your own knowing in your marketing. 

Just pay attention to it. Just call it out if you see it. hey there, I see you. Isn’t that interesting? 

Maybe it’s noticing the moments you reach for someone else’s framework. You feel like yours is too much or not enough or too hard to explain.

Notice the emails that you almost send, but then don’t. 

Or the ones that you send immediately and wish you hadn’t. 

That signal is there. It has been there. It is trying to get your attention. 

And if you want a real concrete black and white example of what this looks like when someone stops overriding their own system and when alignment and what

what it looks like when alignment shows up in an email. buddy, are you in for a treat? 

Next week, I’ve got a very special guest and we are talking about how we took one of her emails that was out of alignment and tweaked it based off of one specific element in her chart to get it back into alignment.  

The difference that she felt when writing those emails, how one landed with her audience and the engagement and sales that followed almost immediately when she sent the new email. 

It is going to be a great episode. cannot wait for you to hear it. 

Until then, go own your mark. Chat soon.